i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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