not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
