wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
