I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
