we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
