Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
