you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
