she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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