i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
