gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
