We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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