a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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