I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
