I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
