I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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