Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
