so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize