so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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