things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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