I wanna passion pit in your ass
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
