I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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