when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
high people should be assigned attendants
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
