his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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