yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
