so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
