DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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