I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
