I'm gonna have a badass scar
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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