please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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