On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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