Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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