Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I sprained my soul last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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