I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can I color on your dick again?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
