honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
