how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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