you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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