WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
