Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize