Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
