discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
