You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
