Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
