the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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