Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
