I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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