Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
