My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize