after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
