It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
