dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize