i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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