He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No subtext here. People are naked.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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