Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
