This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
