this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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