i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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