thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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