so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
