Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
