I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Randomize
