So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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